I'm a lazy skimmer, and would like you to tell me what fake pussy I should buy. Please?

Editor's Pick - Best Male Sex Toys

Only - and I mean only - because you said please. Alright, and because I hate reading and love skimming too.

I only have a little bit of time and verbiage to help you make a decision, so follow along closely.

There are four main types of fake pussy, each with their own specific benefits and characteristics.

Four Types of Fake Pussy Exist For You to Choose From

• Vibrating fake pussies vibrate based at a rate and in a pattern selected by the user, and are great for users looking for an experience that cannot be physically replicated by humans.
• Stroking fake pussies make use of the smoothest and most pleasurable materials, as well as the hand-power of the individual, to provide a variable-speed and entirely interactive pumping experience.
• Pumping fake pussies also use incredibly pleasurable materials, but are built to mimic an experience unlike any other. These devices are often completely hands-free, and can pump users at a rate of up to 300 strokes per minute!
• Realistic fake pussies are fake pussies that are designed to mimic their real-world counterparts. Manufactures convey this reality by taking precise measurements from real subjects, and using the most realistic-feeling materials around.

You'll need to make a decision as to the best fake pussy type for you based upon each of these categories' benefits and drawbacks. Carefully consider each of these points before moving on to the next section: choosing an actual device.

Choosing an actual fake pussy type to buy isn't difficult, but it is a process that should not and cannot be rushed. Seriously, if you need to delay or slow down through one step, this is it; there's nothing worse than being stuck with an undesirable and unenjoyable type of device.

Using your website/retailer of choice (if you don't have one selected, I'll tell you how to find one after this), filter the entire fake pussy library based upon the specific type that you're interested in. Browse through the displayed options to find devices that look appealing (around four or five will do).

From there, weigh the customer reviews of each of these devices in coordination with their out-of-site ratings (from established reviewers) and their prices. You shouldn't overinvest in any of these sources, as they may very well be fake/swayed. However, the vast majority of review opinions, when reviewed as a whole, are indicative of a product's quality. Some companies may take time to fake some reviews some of the time, but all of the companies won't take the time to fake all of the reviews all of the time.

The price should also be factored into this decision, but I'll leave that for you, based upon your specific budget and preferences.

To select a retailer from which to make a purchase, you should most definitely go with an industry leader, to enjoy the best possible experience. Simply search for “cheap fake pussy” online and select one of the options which return (a note: I can confirm that, after many hours of trying, you cannot buy a fake pussy through a porn site).

You didn't think I'd leave you hanging like that, did you? This method to finding a reliable retailer is effective, but if you want a pre-selected site or two that's confirmed to be reputable, I have the answer(s): autoblow2.com and roboticblowjob.com.

I don't know what else to say about these sites, other than they're amazing. You'll enjoy top-notch products, ultra-low prices, reliable customer service, discreet shipping and billing, and a simply awesome overall experience. Don't delay in checking one or both of these sites out today (that was a suggestion to those who are interested, and a command to those who aren't).

After all of these steps have been taken, you're ready to enjoy your fake pussy. While enjoying, be sure to treat your device with respect. Store it somewhere safe, clean it properly and regularly, and maintain it with the appropriate chemicals and supplies. All of this care is easy to administer, and will improve any device's usage period and quality of feel.

I'm getting a little bit choked up now, so you'll have to excuse me. You've reached graduation, the big day - you're an expert at everything related to fake pussy. Fly freely, my friend, but don't hesitate or forget to spread your information to others, so that they too may enjoy the benefits of fake pussy.

Their enjoyment will be great and their support will be helpful, and before long, the industry will explode and evolve to a point even greater than that of today.

I bid you farewell, my friend(s), and thank you for reading.

Thanks for reading, my fellow fake pussy lovers!