I need an awesome fake pussy now, where should I go!?

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Stroking Fake PussyEasy tiger, good decisions are rarely made in haste. I know the desire to enjoy a fake pussy can be strong, but for a number of reasons, you should take your time in the purchase process.

In terms of where you should go to make the purchase, I have a couple of helpful tips for you:

If you'd like your product today, available for use immediately, it's worth considering a physical store. You can probably find one of these stores in your relative area with a quick online search, but there's a good chance that you'll need to take a bit of a drive. Moreover, the price of your desired product will most certainly be greater than the online cost here, and it's best to set aside some extra cash. Finally, a physical store may not even carry the product that you're interested in, so it's best to call ahead and assure that you won't make the drive for nothing.

This rundown of the fake pussy purchasing process through physical stores may appear to be a bit harsh, but it really isn't; there's just nothing worse than a customer who is unpleasantly surprised after putting some real effort into finding an adult store.

Of course, customers also have the option of making the fake pussy purchase through an online store. How one should go about selecting an online company or store is covered earlier on in this FAQ, and some of the benefits afforded to customers that shop online (specifically for male sex machines are): lower costs, the comfort of receiving a product from the comfort of one's home, and a general ease and convenience.

Personally, I'd recommend buying a fake pussy or related product online, but the final decision is most certainly up to you. Of course, there are also some very clear-cut places and people that one should absolutely NOT buy a fake pussy from, including:

Here are the spots where a fake pussy should absolutely NEVER be purchased.

  • The house of a relative (who has probably used the product)
  • A dark back alley (this is asking for trouble)
  • Your friend's mom (I've been there and done this - it's a mean and deceiving prank)
  • The dollar store (sure, it only costs a dollar upfront, but the subsequent medical bills will be much more)
  • Any donut shop (that smartass cashier charged me $150 for a donut that was supposed to be a fake pussy, and its general shape had me fooled until I got home)

I also have a story about a friend who dove head-first into a fake pussy purchase. Enjoy it, but be happy that you aren't him.

Be slow and deliberate when purchasing a fake pussy, like a praying mantis.

This guy was always in a hurry. When we were young, he was the one yelling for the bus driver to “put the pedal to the metal”. When we were in college, he pitched a streamlined lane system for those walking on campus, to improve “the general arrival and transit time of all”. And now, he was rushing into buying a fake pussy.

I tried to explain to him that finding a quality device, and equally as important, a quality company, takes time, research, and planning. Of course he didn't want to hear it. An online search, a couple of clicks, and approximately 15 seconds later, his “awesome fake pussy” was on the way.

And he waited and waited. And waited some more. Finally, after about a week of waiting - the equivalent of nearly a year for him - he phoned the company from which he ordered the device. Lo and behold, my nimrod friend found, he hadn't ordered a fake pussy at all. Rather, he had committed money to a fake pussy startup. Aggravated, but still interested in enjoying his product, he quickly returned to the website after speaking to a sales rep (to see where he read incorrectly). The website was nowhere to be found.

In short, he was between a rock and a hard place.

Over the next few months my angry amigo contacted the bank, his insurance company, his lawyer, and his mom (to cry/vent) with shocking frequency. I couldn't help but be amused that the man who is constantly going on and on about speed, efficiency, and quickness was now stuck dealing with the consequences of a decision made in haste (he actually paid a lot for this thing, too).

There are a ton of different places that you can buy a fake pussy from. Don't end up like my friend, though - take your time!


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