The Zoe Britton Squeeze Box Review

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Zoe Britton Squeeze Box

Zoe Britton Squeeze BoxZoe Britton has quite the body
Zoe Britton is quite the hottie
And although I think she’s rather cute
I know my chances with her are minute
So it’s back into my bedroom I go
I get excited as the videos flow
There’s Zoe Britton on the screen
Oh Zoe Britton, you are a queen

That’s the poem I wrote as I laid in my bedroom, depressed at the thought that I’d never get to meet - let alone “meet meet” Zoe Britton. Normally, her videos were enough, but since she’s retired from the adult-film industry, there’s been “something missing”, to say the least.

But thanks to the folks at - and the creators, testers, manufacturers, and designers of the Squeeze Box - I’m feeling much more optimistic these days!

The Squeeze Box is one of the most unique fake pussies on the market today - maybe even as unique as Zoe Britton is as a person. It’s made from incredibly durable, realistic, and pleasurable materials that have allowed me - and will allow you - to get as close to Zoe as is possible. Moreover, it’s by no means a cheap cash-in on the well-established name of Britton; the device truly is one of the most innovative in recent times - for a number of reasons.

Zoe’s Squeeze Box first demonstrates its uniqueness to users when they fire it up for their first session. The inside of the device is coated with a number of ridges and bumps that provide more of a notable and enjoyable overall experience. These bumps and such allow for more muscles to be stimulated, as well a more relaxing sensation during and after use; the Squeeze Box could certainly be advertised as a massager as well! You’ll be hard-pressed to find something with this sort of texture on the market - especially when the quality of this unique texture is also factored.

The reason that these bumps and ridges feel so incredibly awesome is due largely to the design and style of the Squeeze Box. As its name suggests, the unit allows for users’ variable grip power - which is essentially wasted on most other devices - to increase the tightness and grasp of the overall experience, making for a sensation that is even more than unique.

A semi-serious note, though: Be sure to avoid clenching the Squeeze Box with too much force - I got a little bit carried away during one session, and evidently didn’t know my own strength. Save yourself a lot of punishment and embarrassment my remembering to GRIP SENSIBLY.

Back to the actual qualities of the Squeeze Box, before I get off-track again!

Finally, the Squeeze Box sets itself apart from the competition by loving water. Feel free to use the device in the shower, bath, or as I did, in a public water fountain, without consequence. Moreover, the cleaning process associated with the Squeeze Box is also accordingly easy - simply rinse and spray unto your heart’s content. There’s no frustration or annoyingness to be found here - only an easy-cleaning device that can be used in both dry and wet conditions.

Now the real surprise of this admittedly unique and excellent device is its price. I don’t like to get into numbers, but if a product’s price has been an issue for you in the past, there’s an excellent chance that you’ll be impressed by how loose the Squeeze Box’s grip on your wallet is, and how tight its grip on your - well, you get it.

Undeniably, Zoe Britton is proud of this one. It’s rare that an incredibly popular adult-film star gets things right on his or her first entry into the toy industry, but she’s pulled it off (and so have I). The Squeeze Box goes to show that with enough care and support for fans from a star, anything is possible.

If you’re looking for a traditional, run-of-the-mill, and entirely normal fake-pussy experience, it’s best that you choose another product.

But if you’re a Zoe Britton fan interested in trying an affordable, innovative, and simply different (in all of the right ways) device, this isn’t just a noteworthy choice - it’s your best bet.

Go do what needs to be done, my fellow squeezers. Go ahead.